To say how much I like you

"Offensive Haiku"

I am offended.
I will be honest with you.
I am offended.

—Roger Clemens, Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

Haircut One Hundred, minus ninety-nine

Friends, I've buzzed my own hair down to half an inch, every two months, for the past thirteen years. Haven't paid for a haircut since the first pass through Baltimore.

My bro is getting married next week and I don't want to buzz it right now. I want to go to a pro.

I do not need to have a haircut. I just need a haircut. Tidy up the back and around the ears, and retain a little of the natural curl on top, I guess. I'll trust their taste in making me look neater, but I don't want the stylist's stylishness to overwhelm my appearance.

In this day and age, do I need a barber? A stylist? Will Supercuts do, or is that an accident waiting to happen? If I need a real stylist, can I make this happen by Sunday afternoon? Can hair appointments be made that quickly? I honestly have no idea. What the hell does a haircut cost in 2008?

If you've seen my new roommate, you know he's no help. Actually neither of the last two would be any help.

Please advise! Thanks.


FMFM: "Floyd the Barber"

Diamond in the rough

Best comment: "Take that, Mr. Bob Dylan."

Sponsored rooftop

It's back! (But you can't go home again.)

Yet another sign that this will all be over soon.