Shootout at the fantasy factory

As my amigo talks up the Cup final, I have just one thing to add: Deciding the final on penalty kicks is lame. I realize that these guys are sapped of their strength, already playing on wobbly knees by the 120th minute, but isn't that just one more sign that the game's going to end soon? When somebody makes a mistake, or gets outrun by a player with more stamina? When the team with the deeper bench succeeds where the thinner team fails, just like in most sports playoffs?

Solution: If the game has to end with a shootout, they should at least make the players dribble toward the goal before shooting, from perhaps 30 yards out. You know, hockey-style. At least you'd incorporate a few more soccer skills into the process. And the goalie wouldn't be a sitting duck with his heels on the touchline: he'd have to show some real moves out there too.

Then again, I'm just an every-fourth-year American fan, telling the rest of the world how to run their game. I don't want to sound like some Belgian guy saying there should be either three balls or four strikes, so the batter and pitcher have an equal chance. But then again, it wouldn't be the first time someone tried to innovate in soccer to capture Americans' attention....


FMFM: Doughboys, Playboys & Cowboys: The Golden Years of Western Swing on Proper. I can't say I love every cut on this 99-song box, but this is a very deep set that includes a lot of songs you couldn't make up if you tried. I mean, I really wonder about track #54. And who knew the original "Yellow Rose of Texas" was a racist song?

[Clarifying: I'm not saying I'm impressed with the original racist lyrics of "Yellow Rose," I'm merely intrigued by the fact that such a well-known piece has such an ignominious past.]