Speak up! I can't hear you, here on this mountaintop.

THE CRITICAL DECISIONS

∙ Re-purposing my Southwest Airlines ticket, originally for Los Angeles, to Salt Lake City, with the intention of driving down to Zion National Park for a few days of hiking and general outdoor relaxation.

∙ Abandoning my Swiss Army knife at airport security. Should've packed it in checked baggage. When I realized I still had it, I stuck it in the part of the backpack that also contained the lensatic compass and other outdoorsy supplies. Didn't fly.

∙ Accepting the "upgrade" from a compact car (Dodge Neon or similar) to a much thirstier 2007 Jeep Compass, because Enterprise had no compacts on the lot.

∙ Bringing the iTrip. The 90-song shuffle sequence made the drive down a pleasure. Thanks, iPod, for spitting out Townes Van Zandt's "Tower Song" somewhere around Panguitch.

∙ Choosing to take US-89 for as much of the trip down as possible. The landscape changes significantly on the way, from the shadow of the Wasatch to the open ranchland of Nephi, to the first spectacular scenery between Sevier and Marysvale, to the red and cream-colored rocks between Bryce and Zion.

∙ Avoiding an afternoon thundershower on Tuesday, and driving to Colorado City, Arizona, instead. Oh man. Separate post forthcoming.


REVIEWS

∙ 2007 Jeep Compass: I really regretted accepting this, but thought vaguely that it'd be useful on some winding, rocky road somewhere. Mostly it kept me from being laughed at in places like Hurricane, Utah, but when the unscheduled snowstorm occurred late Thursday morning on I-15, I sure was glad I wasn't in a Neon. It handled just fine in dry conditions, and didn't really feel like it was too much car. Burned a hell of a lot of gas, though.

∙ Springdale, Utah: Normally I avoid the tourist places. In southern Utah, I assumed that they'd be the only places to find decent food. Keith Richards reportedly once described jail thusly: "The food's terrible, the library is abysmal, and the wine list is very, very limited." That's what I expected from Washington County, Utah, so imagine my pleasant surprise at the vaguely Sedona-like Springdale. It's the home of the Bit & Spur, where I enjoyed a black bean burrito mojado and a Polygamy Porter, outdoors, beside the giant red rocks, with a slight 73-degree breeze wafting across the porch, for a very reasonable $14.

∙ Angels Landing Trail: The signature hike in Zion National Park, a strenuous four-hour journey up 1400 feet or so. I'm sorry to say that hunger and vertigo got the best of me on the dangerous chain portion, but the vistas from Scout Landing were enough to satisfy me. It's a very popular trail, and my experience was almost ruined by a large, loud group from Indiana (I think). I say "almost," because nothing could ruin this. (Hey, what's that driving down the road? Oh, it's a....)

∙ Zion Canyon Shuttle Bus. Few word combinations strike such fear in my heart as "shuttle bus". Once I stepped off the bus, however, the canyon was much more peaceful. They say each shuttle replaces 28 cars in the park, and I don't miss the congestion. The buses are probably faster anyway, during what would be peak vehicle traffic times. Hidden benefit: You can hike from one place to another and take the bus back. That's actually a big deal.

∙ Hidden Valley Trail: The payoff view isn't quite as famous, but I enjoyed this one more than the Angels Landing hike. The chain sections here didn't freak me out as much, for one thing. It's strange that the trail just kind of ends among some puddles. Much less populated in the early morning than Angels Landing. Minor quibble: You can see the parking lot from way too much of the trail.

∙ Weeping Rock Trail: Not solitary. Obese people. Flat, paved, half-hour round trip to an interesting geologic spot. All right. After doing this one, I skipped the walk to the Narrows, a famously great spot in Zion. I'll do it next time, preferably at seven o'clock in the morning.

∙ Canyon Overlook Trail: It's on the other side of a very long, dark tunnel, and was surprisingly lonely despite being highlighted in the park newspaper. I had a moment to myself here. If I had more time, I would have gone to the real "other side" of the park, Kolob Canyon, but that might have meant getting trapped in a snowstorm.

∙ St. George, Utah: This fast-growing town is one of those places that reportedly "has it all". What does it have, exactly? A shopping mall, every fast food joint you can name, an airplane-hangar-sized Wal-Mart and a distribution center, too much traffic for its little streets to bear, retirees, and a conspicuous lack of nighttime entertainment. Oh, there's golf, I guess. A suburb without a city.

∙ Hurricane, Utah: Pronounced "hur-ken" by locals; maybe there's a third syllable in there somewhere. This is much closer to Keith Richards' description of jail. It's definitely closer to Warren Jeffs' idea of jail.

∙ Talk radio in Utah. I heard the phrase "red-haired pickaninnies" used by a caller without irony, explanation or censure, in reference to children allegedly produced by Thomas Jefferson's affair with a female slave.

∙ Colorado City, Arizona/Hildale, Utah: See below.